Dirty Dishing
Bishop Vashti McKenzie
"If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless." James 1:26
My grandfather, Dr. Carl James Murphy, was a journalist, editor, civil rights leader, community leader and publisher of the Afro American Newspaper headquartered in Baltimore, Maryland. Every time I had an opportunity to visit him in his Morgan Park basement library, there was a sign tacked above his desk.
It said, "Even a fish wouldn't get caught if he kept his mouth shut". It was good advice in those transitional times in the final decades of the 20th century, and it is good advice now in the genesis of the 21st century.
There are times when we need to keep a rein on our tongue as the epistle attributed to James suggests. This is especially true when tempted to do a little dirty dishing. Dirty dishing is the time-honored ritual of sharing the sordid details about co-workers, family and friends with other people in public or behind closed doors.
Sneaky emails, unsigned letters or in-person declarations bring to light what was deep, dark and hidden away from public consumption.
Dirty dishing is downloaded personal information that becomes the fodder for conversation around the proverbial water cooler. It is interesting indiscretions shared over lunch or on the golf course with a few good friends. It is juicy gossip about rivals and competitors that cast them in a negative light.
It is the low down that can knock down someone from the lofty heights of respectability.
True or false, juicy gossip has a way of getting around. It can spread faster than a California wildfire or the flu virus on a crowded airplane. It can move quickly through the choir loft and the administrative offices of a congregation. Who did what, where they did it, and with whom can be the number one topic of discussion from the secretarial pool to the loading dock.
People of faith who become more enthralled by the gossip than the gospel are often the ones who spread it. When it reached the front page of the Afro, my grandfather would respond, "Even a fish wouldn't get caught if they kept their mouth shut" or as James indicates religious people must put reins on the tongue.
Dirty Dishing may make some people feel powerful. They have information that others do not. Information that can kill or boost a career or company. Some people even feel important because they "got the goods" on someone.
In reality, dealing in dirt impinges the integrity of your religion, according to James. Using the tongue for less than noble conversations can end up being loose lips that get you caught like a fish.
Loose lips can sink a career ship. When you share the sordid details about other people, it smudges your credibility. Motives are questioned and those who hear you dish the dirt will begin wondering what you are saying about them.
An old saying says that a dog that brings a bone carries a bone. Be careful when someone brings you a gossip bone. When you respond and add you own information, you may find that the gossip bone goes on to the next person with your comments in tow.
Do not be tempted by a bit of gossip. Keep your mouth shut and refuse to add fuel to the fire or co-sign onto the grapevine. Do something to help the person caught in the crosshairs information that may or may not be true. Take the high road and squelch ugly rumors about other people. Defend those who are maligned by malicious vicious smear tactics. The tongue has the power to hurt and the power to heal.
There may be times when you must speak up about something you know to be true. The Bible encourages us to speak the truth in love which means, as Michael Eric Dyson writes in Can You Hear Me Now?, to tell the truth gently.