Trusting God or Who I Am

Subj: Trusting God or Who Am I
by P. De Veaux
When I first got saved, well actually when I returned to the Lord and after a year in a baptist church, I joined a pentecostal church. That was after months of prayer. The congregation at the baptist church was nice. The problem was the God they portrayed was sometimey and maybe-ish. Maybe he would help you, maybe he wouldn't - depended on how he was feeling that day. Maybe he would protect you - maybe he wouldn't, just wait and see what happens. If your circumstances didn't improve it meant, he didn't feel like helping you. After almost a year of that theology, I was ready to give up. What was the point in serving a God who evidently didn't have any power and if he had any power i couldn't trust that he would use it to help me. But by His grace, the Holy Spirit lead me to pray "Father, if this is all theire is to being saved - what's the point? I don't need a sometimey God, I need a real God so if there's more to this than what I'm seeing and hearing, please show me.' During the next two months, God took me to several pentecostal services where the Hloy Spirit was moving and His presence was tangible. I realized I needed to be in those services regularly. But I loved my church and couldn't bring myself to leave them. Until the Lord said to me one Sunday, as I stood at my post as usher in anguish because the Spirit was being quenched, the Lord said to me 'Choose you this day who you will serve'. I said, not a problem and told my pastor I had to go. They weren't happy, but I felt my spirit soar! In the pentecostal church I discoverd that God really did work in the lives of people today. That He didn't stop healing or delivering folks, that the devil could be vanquished when he showed his self. I discovered that as a child of God, Jesus had actually given me authority over the wiles of the devil. I witnessed the power of God, of the Holy Spirit not only in the lives of others, but in my life. I can't settle for living any less. After I left the baptist church, I had asked God what the problem was, why didn't believe He would help them, He told me that the congregation there was as the Word describes them - they have a form of godliness, but they deny the power thereof. My inner man rose up when I read the letter from Kate's mom. I felt like nobody believed God would do anything for her. When we pray - what are we saying - are we asking God to heal her according to His word? Or are we trying to sound humble by saying "Lord, not my will, but thine be done'? Doesn't Jesus admonish us in Phillipians 'Be careful for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgivng, let your request be made known unto God?' There's no stipulation of 'not my will' on that. In plain english, that verse says to me, if you want something, asks God and give Him thanks while you're asking. I learned that God does say Yes and 'here, you can have it' or 'wait on it'. So starting today, I'm praying more specifically, and when my intellect runs out of words, I let the Holy Spirit ask for me. Some of the old songs need to be sung again 'there is power, power wonder working power in the blood of the lamb!' Why receive communion if you don't believe it means anything more than sipping juice and eating a piece of cracker? His body was broken so that ours can be whole, His blood was shed so that His life can flow through us. Christ IS my righteouseness, I am accepted before God by Jesus' righteousness - not any goodness of my own. That was the Pharisees problem, and still is - trying to be accepted by God according to their goodness, and not by faith in Jesus'. 'On Christ alone, I place my trust...' not in any goodness or obedience of mine, but in the shed blood of Jesus I stand. Pray for the body, that we would believe that Jesus sacrifice was the one by which we have all the promises and gifts of God. Love you (just had to vent to somebody)! =